This is a message from a christian wife and mother. True and touching!
Sex as you all should know…errrm I assume we all know,is and ought to be in marriage 😀
God wishes that we should enjoy it as married couples.
More stories like this to come on the blog!
Anyway this is what she said;
Sex is a lot like legos. …OK, cut me some slack. As the mom of three boys, there seem to be legos everywhere I look. Still, I think it is a good analogy. The first time a child sees a box of legos, he might be naïve enough to think that the box actually contains a toy that looks like the cool picture on the front. Imagine his disappointment when he opens the legos to find hundreds of seemingly random pieces of plastic instead of the Batmobile that was promised by the box cover. The genius and fun of legos is creativity. First, you follow the directions and build the design represented on the box. But then no child can resist the desire to build something new, to tear the blocks apart and start another creation. Back to sex… the world may have painted for you a picture on the box… a blissful experience of exquisite pleasure and oneness. Perhaps you have been surprised and disappointed to find that sex has created more conflict in your marriage than intimacy, more pain than pleasure. The metaphoric “pieces” of this gift seem to be strewn around your bedroom, bearing no semblance to the gift you were promised. Every marriage experiences some obstacle in physical intimacy. Differences in desire, medical issues, recovery from sexual abuse, baggage from poor choices in the past, involvement with porn, a poor body image to name just a few. I’m sure you’ve had periods of your marriage, as I have, in which you ask God, “Wasn’t this supposed to be a gift? With all due respect, God, I think the gift is broken. Any chance I can exchange it for something else?” The Lord asks you to view the gift of sex as a gift of building. Just like that box of legos, the joy is found in creating. Regardless of the frustration and difficulty you face in physical intimacy, the Lord wants to build something far more precious than a few moments of physical ecstasy. Unselfishness, grace, forgiveness, unconditional acceptance… each can be forged within the furnace of seeking the Lord through the obstacles you face in the bedroom. Will you invite Him to build?
Questions to ponder: How is sex like legos in your marriage? What does the Lord want you to “build” together?
“God created marriage. No government subcommittee envisioned it. No social organisation developed it. Marriage was conceived and born in the mind of God and Only God Can Sustain It.” ~ Max Lucado
“Sexual expression within a marriage is not an option or an extra. It is certainly not, as it has sometimes been considered, a necessary evil in which spiritual Christians engage only to procreate children. It is far more than a physical act. God created it to be the expression an experience of love on the deepest human level and to be a beautiful and powerful bond between husband and wife.” ~ John MacArthur
“Sex appeal alone is the poorest basis in the world for a happy marriage.” ~ John R. Rice
“God intends and expects marriage to be a lifetime commitment between a man and a woman, based on the principles of biblical love. The relationship between Jesus Christ and His church is the supreme example of the committed love that a husband and wife are to follow in their relationship with each other.” ~ John C. Broger“
To solve a marriage problem, you have to talk with each other about it, choosing wisely the time and place. But when accusations and lengthy speeches of defense fill the dialogue, the partners are not talking to each other but past each other. Take care to listen more than you speak. If you still can’t agree on a solution, consider asking a third party, without a vested interest, to mediate.” ~ R.C. Sproul
“Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.” ~ Zig Ziglar
1 John 4:17-18 MSG
“God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love……
If anyone boasts, “I love God,” and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won’t love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can’t see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You’ve got to love both”.
It is the season of Love,a day set aside by us all to appreciate that loved one,special person or help someone that can pay us back(less privileged)
However we choose to look at it,love still pops up here and there and I believe its a good medium to talk about the true Love and giver of life Himself,Jesus Christ and the message of Love He has for us.
Do ponder on these things! Do we really have Love? Have we really experienced love? Have I truly shared love? What exactly is Love to me and what have I done to express Love to others.
Has the church really grabbed true love? IF we have,why do we still compete,criticize,and why is there soo much division,rivalry,jealousy and inner hate? We are one body in Christ we say but the leg does not help the limbs neither does the arm help the shoulder.
If we had love there would be no killing,no stealing,no wars,no battles,no fears….we would be a set of people who let the word of God we hear have meanings in our lives. 1 John 3; 11 For this is the original message we heard;we should Love each other!
Once again ponder on these things!
I want to use this medium to celebrate all our readers. It is exactly a year already.
Also my wonderful friends that wrote and contributed during the amazing ONE year,I say a big THANK you!
HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY to Heartz for Jesus blogspot.
Thank you Jesus for making it happen!
Here are some more scenarios on how and why communication gap comes about and how it can be bridged.When a woman says,’ You don’t love me anymore”
She means, I am feeling unloved.
The man interprets- I am not a good lover/husband, there is probably someone else showing you more love outside. I am an incompetent lover. The man hears this and starts to think of recent acts of love he has shown to his partner and he concludes that she is ungrateful. He sees the statement as an evaluation of his love and commitment.
When a woman says, ” You don’t help me around the house”
She means, I am a bit tired, i would like you to help me more also show appreciation when i clean up after you or do your laundry.
A amn is likely to hear- I am lazy, untidy and irresponsible. My efforst to help are not recognized. What about helping out financially, DOESNT THAT COUNT!
A woman says,’ You dont share any issue with tme
She means, I wish we would talk more and make more plans together. I do not want to feel left out of anything.
The man hears/interprets; i am been secretive and I am hiding things from you. I am not been a good communicator.
These slight disagreements may escalate and become heated when in the bid for the man to defend himself, the woman interprets it as his usual and regular insensitivity and unwillingness to take correction. It is important for us women to note and the guys are not excluded on this too, that we must check how our statements would be received on the other end. Ask ourselves these questions.
How would i feel if i was asked the question in this same way?
Am i speaking emotion/ego or fact?
How does my partner really feel?
For the ladies we could try, Please help me take out the trash or Darling, kindly return the stool when you are done instead of You dnt help me around the house.
Also lets talk about the plans you have for the family this month, i want to be more involved other than You don’t tell me anything.
COMMUNICATION is key and we ought to get it right,keep working till its right!
Joanne: I can hardly get through to you, you never understand me. You know what?! Forget it!
Bisi: You hardly help me, especially around the house.
Chuks: Haba babe! I just got you a washing mashing and paid for house cleaning service.
Bisi: That’s not helping. i wonder why i bother sharing my thoughts with you. Never mind: would do it alone.
Sometimes i wonder why there is so much communication gap between the two sexes and why it takes quite a while to understand each other. A Lady can’t understand why he gives that look when she says something she thinks even a toddler should understand or why he keeps mute when she needs replies.She comes up with different ideas and conclusions in her head; He is immature, so insensitive, very uncaring, too emotional for a man EEEESSSHHH!!!! Lol! Well maybe there is a reason other than these negatives.
Most communication issues in relationships stem from a lack of understanding of the basic difference in men and women communication style.
Women are emotional communicators
Men are evaluative communicators
Women are majorly concerned about relating their views and feelings. They act on emotions: saying it how HOT it is in their hearts. She wants her partner to understand the emotional implication of his actions. In doing this we either succeed in making our partners feel more responsible or horrible; more often than not we make them feel horrible.
Men being logical thinkers and evaluative communicators read facts from what women try to communicate as against the emotions she is trying to pass across. In simpler terms, he takes it ‘personal’.
More so, the man’s ego and need for respect also affect his interpretation and consequent reaction to the woman.
In our next post we would examine more scenarios and discuss how best to COMMUNICATE!
Have a great week
Not only is premarital sex Biblically wrong, but it is dangerous. In the matter of minutes within a sexual encounter- your life can be cut short years. Sexually Transmitted Diseases are not a myth- they exist. In Africa alone, more than 17 million have died from AIDS and another 25 million are infected with the HIV virus. Not only could you possibly infect yourself, but imagine if you or your partner got pregnant and passed this incredible disease onto a child.
I know what God says about sex before marriage. My question is — what about kissing? Doesn’t kissing lead to impure thoughts? What do we believe God has to say about kissing before marriage?
Uhmmmm I’ve seen both sides taken within the Christian church. A wonderful church that I attended and that i am a part of very strongly teaches that christian couples, still dating of course, should avoid kissing and your first kiss should happen at the altar. Now, that wouldn’t be me. O.k it could be me, LOL! but no one would love to stand up in the church and say OH please lets do it! We all want to and we are all young with racing hormones. Also some people would say IT’s my life and no one should tell me how to act with my partner but that is the joy of being a CHRISTIAN ;), we have to be accountable and every part of our lives- we ought to live by instruction; we have to follow the bible, the leading of the HOLY SPIRIT or for issues not directly spoken about in the bible we follow our church doctrine.The Bible says, whatsoever is not of faith is sin. So, maybe we need to get honest with ourselves. If we can do that (kissing) in faith and believe that it will not go farther, then by all means do. But if we in our own hearts, have reservations about it and say ‘I can’t do that in faith’, ‘I’m going to start having impure thoughts’, then my body is going to start kicking in and desire something more than just a kiss, then I think we need to say o.k I’m going to build a wall here and I’m going to make it known that kissing is not acceptable for me.
Another issue that was raised in a church and taught by a female preacher whose ministry was on single and married (she is resting with the lord now) was that kissing isn’t encouraged or that kind of activity unless we know that there is going to be a lifelong bond. Part of kissing is also sharing, sharing of your innermost being. And you may not want to do that unless you are sure that this person is going to be with you for a lifetime.
A final point i want to raise is in 1 Thessalonians 5;22, ‘flee all appearances of evil’ a translation of the bible, message translation to be specific says avoid anything tainted with evil, so if to you its evil or bad or the spirit of God pricks you when you do it, PLEASE AVOID IT. The thing is that it may not be evil or bad in itself but it leads or could lead to the greater evil (sex and all forms of sexual activities including thoughts) so its important to set standards in this area. Let us work at pleasing God even in what looks like the smallest or most stupid thing.
HAVE A SPLENDID WEEK!